Where are those October referrals? What's taking so long??
Monday, October 30, 2006
Monday, October 23, 2006
So Mike was out getting groceries a few weeks ago and this is always kind of a dangerous thing. You never know what he'll come home with . . . usually something for the kids (although I have to say that sometimes it's flowers for me too). Anyway, this particular day he came home with a Dora movie. My kids love Dora (and Diego) so this was perfect. It's called Dora's World Adventures and the very last place she goes is China. It's so cute. I've noticed some of my adoption friends are starting to talk about this movie too.
Here's the plot: "Dora and her friends are ready to celebrate friendship day when they realize all of the friendship bracelets are missing. Swiper has swiped them from all of the friendship parades around the world, and the bracelets won't "glow" unless everyone around the world has them. Dora volunteers to help Swiper travel to China, France, Tanzania and Russia to retrieve the bracelets and save the day! "
And speaking of movies, another great one is "Big Bird in China". Here's what one website says about it:
"Big Bird and his Sesame Street companion, Barkley, the big, fluffy dog, travel across China in search of the legendary Feng Huang, the Phoenix Bird. Along the way they visit with Chinese schoolchildren, watch a Tai Ji demonstration, learn some Chinese words and songs, and meet the mischievous Monkey King."
We got this one for the kids last year for Christmas and would highly recommend it. The kids have learned so much about China and Chinese culture from it.
Friday, October 20, 2006
Quilt Update
I finally found someone to make the quilt for me. It's such a big job and I totally appreciate this person's willingness to complete it for me. What a huge relief! Here are a few pictures of the new seamstress.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
You've got mail!
I know it's not really a huge deal, but I was very, very excited today to receive our "Referral Booklet" and "Adoption Travel Guide" from our agency. Basically this guide just goes over what to expect when we receive our referral and lists the things we need to do such as signing forms, filling out Visa applications, making travel arrangements, etc.
It doesn't really mean anything except that we're getting closer. I ripped open the envelope and started reading and reading and reading. Boy does it feel real now! I know it could still be a few months away but considering how long we've been waiting . . . it's just around the corner!!! Hooray - bring on those referrals CCAA!
It doesn't really mean anything except that we're getting closer. I ripped open the envelope and started reading and reading and reading. Boy does it feel real now! I know it could still be a few months away but considering how long we've been waiting . . . it's just around the corner!!! Hooray - bring on those referrals CCAA!
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Unfinished projects . . . .
. . . . finished! The last time my mother-in-law was over, she kicked my butt into gear (in a good way) and strongly encouraged me to get some unfinished knitting projects done. So here I am showing them off.
I'm proud of myself for actually finishing them and they actually look half decent. The only problem is, they may look kinda funny if we do end up with a referral for a boy!! I think I may have to knit some blue sweaters just in case. Well, actually I have some more unfinished projects I need to work on first . . . such as the quilt! I really, really need to work on that one. It's hanging over my head and it will feel so good to finally get it done. Perhaps I'll post some pictures of my progress so far.
So thanks for the encouragement Peggy (and for sewing the green one together for me!) Feel like doing some quilting???
I'm proud of myself for actually finishing them and they actually look half decent. The only problem is, they may look kinda funny if we do end up with a referral for a boy!! I think I may have to knit some blue sweaters just in case. Well, actually I have some more unfinished projects I need to work on first . . . such as the quilt! I really, really need to work on that one. It's hanging over my head and it will feel so good to finally get it done. Perhaps I'll post some pictures of my progress so far.
So thanks for the encouragement Peggy (and for sewing the green one together for me!) Feel like doing some quilting???
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Dream
Ok all you dream interpreters, listen up. I had a dream last night that we got our referral (and the baby actually came along with the referral. Ha!) And . . . it was a boy!!!
When I was pregnant with our daughter, I had a few dreams about the baby and every time it was a girl. I still thought we were having a boy. Then when I was pregnant with our son, I dreamt that we were having a boy but I still thought we were having a girl. I was wrong both times. Now I assume we're having a girl - obviously because most of the babies from China are girls . . . but am I wrong again?? Wouldn't it be a shock if we got a boy?
I suppose I need to work a little harder on preparing Victoria for the fact that she may have another little brother and not a sister. She really, really wants the baby to be a girl and we've told her that there is a chance it could be a boy. Hopefully she'll be happy just having a baby around here again, whether it's a boy or a girl.
By the way, Mike and I will be overjoyed with either a boy or a girl - that's why we didn't specify gender on our homestudy. Hopefully we'll find out soon!
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Happy Birthday!
Happy birthday to the greatest husband and father in the whole world. Have a great day. We love you lots!
(I tried to make a video of pictures of this greatest husband and father but it wouldn't work for some reason).
(I tried to make a video of pictures of this greatest husband and father but it wouldn't work for some reason).
Monday, October 02, 2006
Waiting for Referral Syndrome
I found this article on the Christian Adoption Moms website and thought it was worth sharing. For those of you on the same journey as us, you can probably totally relate to this "syndrome" and for those of you who are following our journey, you will be able to see what we're going through as we wait . . . and wait . . . . and wait . . . (Note: comments in red are mine)
Waiting-for-Referral-Syndrome
copyright 2005, Edi Sowers
"Why is it that as we get closer to referral, each day gets longer and longer?”
Picture this scenario.
Your Dossier has been sent. You’ve received notice that it’s been logged in at the country’s adoption office. You begin your wait.
At first, there is a letdown. You’ve been so caught up in the paperchase 24/7 that you now feel a sense of purposelessness. (yep, I can totally related to that one) What to do with all that free time?
Next, you start communicating with your online adoption groups. You have 6, maybe 7 months to wait before any real chance of receiving your referral. (ok, obviously this was written last year as we all know wait times are a lot longer!) The days come, the days go. You develop a routine with your work and family and the wait seems bearable.
Six months later, (again, a lot longer now!) you are chained to the computer with your phone strapped to your hip. All you can think about is – “When will the call come?” You can’t function at the office. You spend valuable productive hours chatting online with other waiting parents. The days now seem to have 48 hours instead of 24, and they drag on from one to the next.
All you adoptive parents out there know what I’m talking about. It’s the oh-so-common “waiting-for-referral” syndrome where the closer you get to your referral, the longer each day becomes.
We all experience some form of WFRS at some point. What is important is how often and how severe it is.
Mild “Waiting-for-Referral Syndrome”
In many people, the symptoms come and go. They have waves of obsession that come over them every few days or so.
You find yourself counting on your fingers the number of months, weeks, or days until your referral should come.
The calendar pages are becoming frayed because you keep flipping forward to the anticipated “referral" time, daydreaming about what day it will arrive. (that's why we all need a "carmody calendar" as Dawn calls it!)
What to do:
Relax and remember that the feelings will soon pass. Hundreds – no, thousands of parents have gone through this before. If they can do it, so can you.
Think of a useful project related to your soon-to-be child: paint a piece of furniture for their room, knit a cap, start an adoption lifebook – some activity that will allow you to think about your child during the time you are focusing on the project without becoming obsessed with it. (so perhaps I should finish off all those unfinished projects I started for our little one but don't feel motivated to do anymore??)
Moderate “Waiting-for-Referral Syndrome”
The next stage of WFRS is commonly identified by increasing anxiety and focus on the length of the remaining wait.
You may begin to have dreadful thoughts about the possible conditions in which your soon-to-be child is living.
You have the child’s room furnished, arranged, and all the clothing folded and put away 6 months prior to the referral. You go in and rearrange, pretend you’re holding the child while you rock.
You may begin to eat to calm your nerves, especially M & Ms, which seem to be particularly soothing. (chips for me!)
What to do:
Continue the useful projects you started when the symptoms of WFRS were in the mild stage. You may have to make a conscious choice to limit the amount of time you spend on said projects.
Be sure to get to bed at a reasonable hour each night. Make a habit of preparing healthy meals for you and your family. Make these daily routines.
Limit the amount of time you are online reading posts and sending emails related to adoption, waiting, referral rumors, etc. (really??)
Don’t purchase M & Ms (or chips), except for the occasional small single serving bag. Key word is “occasional” – which means perhaps once every two weeks.
Severe “Waiting-for-Referral Syndrome”
WARNING: Symptoms of severe WFRS can be debilitating. You should be on alert for these symptoms. You may need to seek help by relying on a good friend to hold you accountable for your daily activity.
On your days off (or if you work at home), you wake up at zero-dark-thirty, stumble to the computer, log in to read the latest posts to see if any new rumors have been started.
The sun rises, the family gets up – you are “in the zone” reading through the hundreds of emails from across the world, and you are still in your PJs. You just can’t tear yourself away, for fear a news flash would be posted saying that referrals are on their way for the next two months’ worth of dossiers! Your family rolls their eyes and goes on about their business, hoping that you will snap out of it and live life again.
Your every waking thought is about the referral: when will it come, when will you get the call, do I have my camera ready to take photos, and so on.
Your work suffers because you cannot focus on your professional responsibilities.
What to do:
Remind yourself that this process is something you cannot control. Breathe deeply and focus on the here and now.
Force yourself to wait to check the adoption group email postings until your family has gotten up and you’ve all had breakfast together.
Allow yourself one hour in the morning, and one hour in the evening – MAX (preferably less) to read the adoption group communication.
Go for a date with your spouse. Talk about the weather, current events, football scores – anything other than the latest referral rumor. Remember, once you have that new little one in your home, it’ll be much harder to have that precious time with your honey.
Allow yourself a window of time each day to daydream, journal, pray, think about, and talk about your anxiety over the adoption referral. This will then allow your mind to be free to concentrate on your other responsibilities. By setting aside this special, reserved time each day tell yourself that you can then get back to focusing on the rest of your life and your family, because you’ll have another “special, reserved time” tomorrow.
In summary - keep in mind that all this waiting will be well worth it when they place that little child in your arms. The more you are able to care for yourself during the wait for your referral, the better parent you will be from day one.
CAN ANYONE RELATE???
Waiting-for-Referral-Syndrome
copyright 2005, Edi Sowers
"Why is it that as we get closer to referral, each day gets longer and longer?”
Picture this scenario.
Your Dossier has been sent. You’ve received notice that it’s been logged in at the country’s adoption office. You begin your wait.
At first, there is a letdown. You’ve been so caught up in the paperchase 24/7 that you now feel a sense of purposelessness. (yep, I can totally related to that one) What to do with all that free time?
Next, you start communicating with your online adoption groups. You have 6, maybe 7 months to wait before any real chance of receiving your referral. (ok, obviously this was written last year as we all know wait times are a lot longer!) The days come, the days go. You develop a routine with your work and family and the wait seems bearable.
Six months later, (again, a lot longer now!) you are chained to the computer with your phone strapped to your hip. All you can think about is – “When will the call come?” You can’t function at the office. You spend valuable productive hours chatting online with other waiting parents. The days now seem to have 48 hours instead of 24, and they drag on from one to the next.
All you adoptive parents out there know what I’m talking about. It’s the oh-so-common “waiting-for-referral” syndrome where the closer you get to your referral, the longer each day becomes.
We all experience some form of WFRS at some point. What is important is how often and how severe it is.
Mild “Waiting-for-Referral Syndrome”
In many people, the symptoms come and go. They have waves of obsession that come over them every few days or so.
You find yourself counting on your fingers the number of months, weeks, or days until your referral should come.
The calendar pages are becoming frayed because you keep flipping forward to the anticipated “referral" time, daydreaming about what day it will arrive. (that's why we all need a "carmody calendar" as Dawn calls it!)
What to do:
Relax and remember that the feelings will soon pass. Hundreds – no, thousands of parents have gone through this before. If they can do it, so can you.
Think of a useful project related to your soon-to-be child: paint a piece of furniture for their room, knit a cap, start an adoption lifebook – some activity that will allow you to think about your child during the time you are focusing on the project without becoming obsessed with it. (so perhaps I should finish off all those unfinished projects I started for our little one but don't feel motivated to do anymore??)
Moderate “Waiting-for-Referral Syndrome”
The next stage of WFRS is commonly identified by increasing anxiety and focus on the length of the remaining wait.
You may begin to have dreadful thoughts about the possible conditions in which your soon-to-be child is living.
You have the child’s room furnished, arranged, and all the clothing folded and put away 6 months prior to the referral. You go in and rearrange, pretend you’re holding the child while you rock.
You may begin to eat to calm your nerves, especially M & Ms, which seem to be particularly soothing. (chips for me!)
What to do:
Continue the useful projects you started when the symptoms of WFRS were in the mild stage. You may have to make a conscious choice to limit the amount of time you spend on said projects.
Be sure to get to bed at a reasonable hour each night. Make a habit of preparing healthy meals for you and your family. Make these daily routines.
Limit the amount of time you are online reading posts and sending emails related to adoption, waiting, referral rumors, etc. (really??)
Don’t purchase M & Ms (or chips), except for the occasional small single serving bag. Key word is “occasional” – which means perhaps once every two weeks.
Severe “Waiting-for-Referral Syndrome”
WARNING: Symptoms of severe WFRS can be debilitating. You should be on alert for these symptoms. You may need to seek help by relying on a good friend to hold you accountable for your daily activity.
On your days off (or if you work at home), you wake up at zero-dark-thirty, stumble to the computer, log in to read the latest posts to see if any new rumors have been started.
The sun rises, the family gets up – you are “in the zone” reading through the hundreds of emails from across the world, and you are still in your PJs. You just can’t tear yourself away, for fear a news flash would be posted saying that referrals are on their way for the next two months’ worth of dossiers! Your family rolls their eyes and goes on about their business, hoping that you will snap out of it and live life again.
Your every waking thought is about the referral: when will it come, when will you get the call, do I have my camera ready to take photos, and so on.
Your work suffers because you cannot focus on your professional responsibilities.
What to do:
Remind yourself that this process is something you cannot control. Breathe deeply and focus on the here and now.
Force yourself to wait to check the adoption group email postings until your family has gotten up and you’ve all had breakfast together.
Allow yourself one hour in the morning, and one hour in the evening – MAX (preferably less) to read the adoption group communication.
Go for a date with your spouse. Talk about the weather, current events, football scores – anything other than the latest referral rumor. Remember, once you have that new little one in your home, it’ll be much harder to have that precious time with your honey.
Allow yourself a window of time each day to daydream, journal, pray, think about, and talk about your anxiety over the adoption referral. This will then allow your mind to be free to concentrate on your other responsibilities. By setting aside this special, reserved time each day tell yourself that you can then get back to focusing on the rest of your life and your family, because you’ll have another “special, reserved time” tomorrow.
In summary - keep in mind that all this waiting will be well worth it when they place that little child in your arms. The more you are able to care for yourself during the wait for your referral, the better parent you will be from day one.
CAN ANYONE RELATE???
Monday, September 25, 2006
Thank you CCAA!
Wow, who would have thought you'd be reading my blog and would listen to little ol me? I woke up this morning and saw that you had updated your website just as I had requested. AND you matched more than just a week. You matched 18 days worth of LID's. That's actually way more than I even expected. It's been a long time since that many days have been matched in one month. Hooray CCAA - keep up the hard work.
Oh, and one more request . . . . do you think you could match 29 days next month so that Sept. 7 is included in referrals? You'd make our family so very happy - then we'd get to see our little one's face for the first time and no more waiting. Thanks.
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Good Night CCAA
It's Sunday night and I just want you to know that I'll be going to bed soon. I know you are 12 hours ahead of us and that means you are just starting your work day. As I sleep, please continue to work on that pile of dossiers. I'd love to wake up to some really, really good news. Perhaps referrals for at least two weeks worth of LID's (I'm not really asking for that much). Please put smiles on the faces of all of us Mommy's and Daddy's in waiting. I will be checking your website soon after I awaken in the morning so I would appreciate it if you could please update it so we can celebrate some good news. Thank you. :)Thursday, September 21, 2006
Okay I lied . . . but this is just too crazy not to post (sorry)
Not just one . . .
TWO!!!!! Check it out. That has to be a good sign.
TWO!!!!! Check it out. That has to be a good sign.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Last post about ladybugs - I promise (for now)
I know nobody wants to hear about another ladybug sighting but I have to share this one. My mother-in-law came to stay with us for a few days and surprised me with a charm for my italian charm bracelet. It's a ladybug! Thanks Peggy. It's so cute - I just love it. So technically that's the third ladybug I've seen in the last week or so. That's gotta mean something.
CCAA should be letting us know about referrals for this month in the next week or so. Let's hope they at least finish all of July and perhaps even get partway into August. We're starting to exercise our fingers so they'll be in shape to cross off all those days on our countdown calendar. I'll keep you posted. :)
CCAA should be letting us know about referrals for this month in the next week or so. Let's hope they at least finish all of July and perhaps even get partway into August. We're starting to exercise our fingers so they'll be in shape to cross off all those days on our countdown calendar. I'll keep you posted. :)
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Could it be? A real ladybug this time?
This afternoon I was outside cutting the lawn and I had just turned the lawnmower off when I heard Victoria calling me over. She was so excited and yelling, "A ladybug, a ladybug!" So of course I went over to take a look and sure enough - a real live ladybug was crawling all over her sweater! I couldn't believe it. That totally makes up for the false ladybug sighting yesterday doesn't it? As for our referral . . . well, I'll say no more. Here are the pictures I tried to take - very blurry I know but honestly it's a real ladybug. Victoria and Austin are my witnesses!
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Ladybug Sighting!
Can you believe it? I spotted a ladybug! Does that mean our referral is coming soon? That's what it means doesn't it?
Ok, ok . . . the ladybug I spotted was on these funky cool napkins my mom gave me today. She saw them at a store and just had to get them for me. Neat eh? They're the kind of napkins though that are so cute you almost don't want to use them. Perhaps they should be saved for a referral party. Come on CCAA - bring on those referrals!!!
Ok, ok . . . the ladybug I spotted was on these funky cool napkins my mom gave me today. She saw them at a store and just had to get them for me. Neat eh? They're the kind of napkins though that are so cute you almost don't want to use them. Perhaps they should be saved for a referral party. Come on CCAA - bring on those referrals!!!
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Sunday Afternoon
| View | Add FavoriteJust thought I'd share a few pictures of how we spent Sunday afternoon. It was a great family day - can't wait till there's one more little one to join us though! :)
Thursday, September 07, 2006
One year ago today . . .
. . . our file was logged in at the CCAA.
Wow! At the beginning of this journey we didn't think we'd be celebrating such a day. A 12-month anniversary of being logged in didn't even exist. We thought we'd be to China and back for a few months already at this point. Anyway, things change and here we are. We're a lot closer than we were a year ago and that's the only way to look at it.
Our agency is telling us that the wait may increase to 16 - 18 months from LID. So if that's the case, we may not get to see our little one's face until January or March. That will be two whole years since we began this whole process. I know it will all be worth it in the end.
We have been so blessed over the past year (and more) by the support of family and friends. We know there are so many people out there praying for us and our little one. Also getting to know our travel group (Group #244) has been amazing and a great support as we encourage each other and go through each step together. Thank you everyone!
Please continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we come closer to the day we see the face of our little one for the first time and then eventually hold him/her in our arms.
Wow! At the beginning of this journey we didn't think we'd be celebrating such a day. A 12-month anniversary of being logged in didn't even exist. We thought we'd be to China and back for a few months already at this point. Anyway, things change and here we are. We're a lot closer than we were a year ago and that's the only way to look at it.
Our agency is telling us that the wait may increase to 16 - 18 months from LID. So if that's the case, we may not get to see our little one's face until January or March. That will be two whole years since we began this whole process. I know it will all be worth it in the end.
We have been so blessed over the past year (and more) by the support of family and friends. We know there are so many people out there praying for us and our little one. Also getting to know our travel group (Group #244) has been amazing and a great support as we encourage each other and go through each step together. Thank you everyone!
Please continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we come closer to the day we see the face of our little one for the first time and then eventually hold him/her in our arms.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
I Love You Like Crazy Cakes
A couple at church surprised us on Sunday with this great book. It will be an awesome way to help explain to our little one how he/she came to be part of our family and how he/she grew in our hearts before we even met him/her.
Here's what the publisher says about the book:
"Based on the author's own experience, this heartfelt story follows a woman on her journey to China to adopt a baby girl from China. From paperwork to plane flight, the narrative chronicles the baby's trip from a crib in a big room shared with many other babies to her own crib in her own room in her new home."
What a thoughtful gift! Thank you Steve and Agnes!
Monday, August 28, 2006
Monthly Countdown Ritual
Well, I know after a while these pictures will get kind of boring but it's just something we gotta do. The CCAA updated their website and so now it's official that referrals were sent out for LID's up to and including July 22, 2005. That's only nine days this time around but it's nine days closer to our LID so every little bit is good. It's better than nothing. So once again here are the kids crossing off dates on our countdown chart.
Sunday, August 27, 2006
More referrals sent by CCAA
Well it's not exactly official until the CCAA updates their website but the word out there is that referrals this month are only including LID's up to July 22. That's only nine days covered this month. It's quite disappointing that it's taking forever to get through July but again, there's nothing we can do about it.
Every Friday we receive a weekly update from our agency. Often there's really not a lot of news in it, especially lately with all the delays in referral times. However, this week I really appreciated one of the paragraphs. Here's what it said:
"To be certain, extended timelines and changes to adoption program requirements can be very stressful for families. We all sometimes need to be reminded that international adoption is about providing families for children, not finding children for families. When children are unable to remain in their birth families or to be adopted domestically, international adoption provides a final option for children to be placed with a family. As an agency, our goal is to “make families happen for children”. "
I thought this was a great reminder for everyone - especially myself - to keep focused on the real reason international adoption even exists. It's all about the children. We are blessed to be able to provide a loving home for these children and whatever the time frame is, so be it.
Every Friday we receive a weekly update from our agency. Often there's really not a lot of news in it, especially lately with all the delays in referral times. However, this week I really appreciated one of the paragraphs. Here's what it said:
"To be certain, extended timelines and changes to adoption program requirements can be very stressful for families. We all sometimes need to be reminded that international adoption is about providing families for children, not finding children for families. When children are unable to remain in their birth families or to be adopted domestically, international adoption provides a final option for children to be placed with a family. As an agency, our goal is to “make families happen for children”. "
I thought this was a great reminder for everyone - especially myself - to keep focused on the real reason international adoption even exists. It's all about the children. We are blessed to be able to provide a loving home for these children and whatever the time frame is, so be it.
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